By age of two we start having tasks that are all our own to complete. It may be to help with the family pet or to pick up our toys but we have them. From a young age we understand that role of responsibility. That certain things are our job. As we get older those roles change especially when caring for a loved one. They can even be threatened when suddenly new people are added to a care team.
A Role of A Life Time
When we care for a loved one many times, it becomes a part of our life style. It becomes part of who we are. We schedule our lives around this Role, in many cases it becomes our life. For me, this was a Role I was very proud of. I would never trade a minute of time I spent in this role for anything.
Why Is Does It Threaten Us
Then something or someone changes our Role. This is not only upsetting but threatening. It threatens not only our Role but our sense of self-worth. In some cases, it can even threaten a sense of identity. When you care for someone it becomes part of who you are.
They Mean Well
Often times, people mean well when they try to help out in the care of a loved one. Their intention it to take some the stress off of you. The unfortunate part is that all though well intended, the act is received as an insult or a threat.
What You Can Do
A few things to remember when this emotion of threat arises:
1 : The other people involved have no idea your world or position is being threatened.
2: Most people never comprehend that caring for a loved one becomes a way of life.
3: You cannot make other people understand how you feel only how you “might” feel.
Extra Note
Remember to do what makes you and your loved one feel better about the changes. You can adopt some new routines of your own to feel in control again. This position is not always easy and is often a heart breaking is one of the most common “side-affects” emotions when caring for loved one.
