We all love a great rerun, where we are familiar with the people, know what will happen and when to react… But why do we relive parts of our lives over again?Are we trying to fix it?
Our minds conjure up old memories or portions of our lives that we have a conflict with. These reruns or “flash back” represent an internal interpretation of an event. Through the windows of our imaginations, we mentally tweak memory in an attempt to alter the event creating a more desirable outcome.
We will repeat this action, wishing things will turn out differently this time! But even with the best intentions, what do we really hope to gain by this? The goal is to be moving towards the future. Our efforts are better spent letting go of the past so that we can embrace the present.
What’s The Harm?
A saying often attributed to Albert Einstein is: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Each time we revisit the past look for some spontaneous insight or previously-unseen answers, it can be like stirring up a hornet’s nest.
As we are apt to relive some of the most upsetting events of our lives – in the often misguided hope that we can alter the outcome. Perhaps we are subconsciously trying to get to the bottom of the question of why a particular undesirable event happened in the first place.
Society’s Norm
Unfortunately, this has become the norm in our present day to question circumstances. Whereas in the past, it was more often accepted, when something happened that it was just the natural order of things. Today, for every event, society seems to demand a detailed explanation. As a society we want to know “how” and “why” something occurred. This including why better precautions were not taken to stop a negative event.
There is nothing wrong with prevention. Preventative measures have led to the elimination of diseases, reduction in the incidences of accidents and occurrences premature deaths. While changes to things like diet are often beneficial, not one person has ever been brought back to life by reliving their passing. We must not stay in a state of grieving forever.
Change Your State of Being!
We spend a great deal of our time in a state of regret. Whether we are regretting a choice or a missed opportunity we often don’t let it go. This leads to us not living in the present. Only when we live in the present we can see change.
Change is about who we become, not what we do. What we learn from the experiences we have and the people we help make us who we are. We are ever changing beings that never stop becoming.
Gaining Control
We can’t stop flashbacks from occurring, but we can control their effect on our present and our future. Gaining control can be done in a few steps.
- 1st: ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAST. It is only a glimpse of the past. Don’t fight it. Hiding or ignoring it will usually make it worse.
- 2nd: FIND A LESSON. The lesson may not always come from what you think you did wrong. Rather, be aware of how you could use the whole experience to help yourself and others.
- 3rd: CREATE SOMETHING POSITIVE. Look for a positive side of things in the event. If you can’t see it yet, then create one. Even in death, peace can be found.
Reliving your flashback won’t fix the what has happened, but what you do with it can fix your Future. Remember, you can control who you become!
