Have you ever stopped to think about the things you tell yourself every day? Do you pay attention to your inner dialogue?
You have about 60,000 thoughts in a day. Are you telling yourself the right stuff? Are you talking to yourself like a friend?
Be good to your self yourself!
Without realizing it, you may be sending the wrong messages to yourself. Most people have no idea what kinds of words and phrases they use when they refer to themselves and their abilities. The average person spends 50% of his or her time every day in a state of autopilot, doing mundane, routine things such as washing dishes, for example. It’s only natural that your mind tends to wander by default, giving way to free-flowing thoughts.
What’s The Problem?
These wandering thoughts are primarily subconscious, with about 22% being “narrative”. Narrative thoughts are the ones we use to describe ourselves in a situation, such as: “The rent is due. I am so bad with money”… or to talk ourselves into or out of a decision: “You don’t want to try that, you could get hurt.” Or “you can do this! It will be OK. You’ve got this”.
They have found that we repeat as many as 98% of our thoughts on a daily basis. The concerning part is that up to 80% of those thoughts are negative! Some of this negative self-talk is active and we are well aware of it, but most of it is passive – or subconscious – occurring without our realization, in phrases that are used in everyday conversation with ourselves and others. Some of the most common phrases are “I’m not good at that” and “I’m bad with…(fill in the blank)”. These negative phrases may not seem like much individually, but when repeated every day unchecked, they have an accumulative, adverse effect on our lives.
What can you do?
We are creatures of habit. This self dialogue – those repetitive thoughts – become ingrained, and are not likely to go away on their own. But, you can transform your negative thoughts into positive ones. It just takes time and practice and can be done with only a few steps:
1st) Be Mindful: When you use a negative phrase out loud or internally, stop yourself. You must break the habit.
2nd) Convert Negative to Positive: When you start to say a negative phrase, change it. Rather than saying you’re bad at something, try “I’m working on that”. Ultimately, you want to reach the point where your self dialogue consists of phrases such as “you are great at that”.
3rd) Create New Thoughts: When you have a subject that triggers negative thoughts, create a whole set of positive phrases to replace the negative ones. Substitute positive for negative; good for bad. This will push the original ones out, eventually replacing them all together.
You spend 24 hours a day with yourself. You are totally awesome and can do anything! Remind yourself of this all the time. Be good to yourself!
